Wednesday, July 31, 2002

Today's illustrious band:

The New Guy



Brought to you by Parker R. Peterson, age 5. Parker is my cousin Paul's son. He doesn't send much e-mail yet, so his Grandma Jo, my aunt Joel Peterson, relayed the story.

"Saturday I babysat grandkids while everyone was involved in all sorts of stuff, including the moms in a softball tournament. Anyway, I was on my way to the ball park with them when Parker said 'You know, grandma, I have to help my mom at the concession stand.' I replied, 'Then who will help your dad?' He immediately gestured to Dawson (his little brother, age 18 months) and said, 'The new guy.'

I got a chuckle out of that."

Shucks, and I thought I was clever!


Tuesday, July 30, 2002

Today's illustrious band:

Church Donuts



Brought to you by Recipes from the Belle Fourche Community.

Here is proof that deep-fried dough is one of God's great gifts: that holy of holeys, the donut. The recipe is simple: mix dough, roll out and cut donuts, fry, apply sugar, eat. Whether you're enjoying a mass-produced confection at a big ol' church brunch or a bag of minis at the state fair, a fresh crispy donut still damp with hot grease and crusted with sugar is one of nature's perfect foods.

When I was but a wee Media Sensation, Mother Media had a donut recipe much like the one below. (I don't remember whether it had come to her through Dad's parents, who ran a bakery, or from elsewhere.) Once my friends and I were old enough to behave responsibly around frying oil — early high school years — we were allowed to have donut-making parties. My girlfriends and I would invite some boys over to my house, and they would cluster around the TV to watch "Knight Rider" while we did the cooking. A cringe-worthy example of sex-role stereotyping, I know. It made us mad, too, but we put up with it because hey! we had boys nearby!

So we would roll out the premixed, prechilled dough (thanks, Mom!) and cut out a dozen or so at a time with a special donut cutter that sliced the divot in the middle. (It never occurred to any of us not to cut the middle out of the dough circle. Part of the definition of "donut" is that it has a hole in the middle, and some traditions you just don't question.) We tossed — er, gently and carefully placed — both the donuts and the holes in the grease and watched, fascinated, as the dough browned and swelled. When they reached the proper state of goldenness on one side, someone would use a slotted spoon to flip — I mean, gently and carefully turn — them over to fry the other side. We scooped the finished products straight into brown paper bags preloaded with plain sugar, cinnamon sugar or powdered sugar, shook vigorously, and served. This last step was the only part the boys took seriously.

The coolest part, though, was reinventing the self-turning donut. I believe it was in reading the Little House on the Prairie books to me (the third book in the series, Farmer Boy, possibly?) that Mother Media learned of the self-turning donut, an ingenious innovation that saved a busy baker one step in the process. Rather than placing the dough "O" flat in the frying oil, you stretch it a little and twist it a couple times first. That way when the bottom half swells as it cooks, the spiral seam makes it easy for the inflated bottom half to rise to the top, rolling over and trading places with the uncooked top half. Very nifty!

It was a fine way to spend a chilly fall evening. That recipe produced a vast quantity of donuts, so none of us was wanting for fried pastry or a sugar buzz by the end of the night. If you're looking for a community-building activity that involves hot oil and cool physics, you can't go wrong with making donuts*.

* A word to the wise: Due to the lack of preservatives, fresh homemade donuts don't keep. Plan on eating the whole batch, preferably while they're still warm.

Church Donuts

1-1/2 c. sugar
4 Tbsp. butter
3 eggs
1 tsp. salt
1 tsp. vanilla
1 tsp. nutmeg
4 tsp. baking powder
1-1/2 c. half & half
5-1/2 c. flour

Mix; roll out. Cut donuts. Fry according to deep fryer instructions. Easier to roll out if first chilled slightly. After frying, roll in sugar, powdered sugar, frost, or serve plain. Fresh, hot oil makes the best donuts.


Monday, July 29, 2002

Today's illustrious band:

Hey Gang Snack Beans



Brought to you by Recipes from the Belle Fourche Community. The recipe itself, in this case, seems all right — kinda tasty, even. It's the name that I like.

1 lb. ground beef
1/2 can tomato soup
2 tablespoons brown sugar
2 tablespoons molasses
1 large can (or 2 small cans) pork and beans
1 teaspoon dry mustard
1 teaspoon chili powder
other 1/2 tomato soup
1 small onion, chopped
1/2 cup chopped cheese
1 package hamburger buns

Brown ground beef. Drain grease off. Add 1/2 can of tomato soup, brown sugar, molasses, pork and beans, dry mustard, and chili powder. Simmer for 1/2 hour or until hot.

Mix other 1/2 of can of tomato soup, chopped onion, and cheese. Mix everything together. Take hamburger buns, split open, and put a teaspoon of mixture on bun. Bake at 350 degrees until cheese melts. Spoon bean mixture over buns.

I guess I've just never thought of beans as a snack before, but you learn something new everyday. I'm not sure why you spoon the bean mixture onto the bun twice. However, I do like the idea of baking my sandwich until the cheese melts.


Friday, July 26, 2002

Today's illustrious band:

Paramedduck



Brought to you by my little rubber duckie.

Warren the Feline Despot was mighty ill with a cold last night and this morning, to the point of having no interest in his water or food dishes. I wanted to make sure he got some fluid, but I don't own an eyedropper or a turkey baster. However, I do have several rubber duckies with holes in the bottom, so I filled a couple and squeezed the water into the kitty's mouth. He didn't seem to appreciate my ingenuity.

The update from the vet said he had resumed eating on his own by noon, after infusion with fluids and antibiotics. I dropped him off this morning and should be able to bring him home tonight. So now we'll both feel better.


Thursday, July 25, 2002

Today's illustrious band:

Cabbage Burgers



Brought to you by that revered tome Recipes from the Belle Fourche Community.

Stuck for ideas for tonight's dinner? Here's the recipe for cabbage burgers, reproduced as published.

5 frozen bread dough
1 onion
1 (24 oz.) bottle catsup
3 lb. hamburger
2 small heads cabbage
Salt and pepper to taste

Brown hamburger and onion. Drain very well. Boil cabbage and squeeze out water. Mix together with catsup, salt, and pepper. Take a slice of bread dough and roll out. Place meat mixture on bread and seal tightly. Place on greased cookie sheet and let raise. Bake at 350 degrees until brown. (Can be wrapped in foil after baked and frozen. Just reheat in oven for 20 to 30 minutes.)

I'm not sure how many slices/loaves of bread or finished cabbage burgers are represented here, or how you're supposed to seal an open-faced frozen bread/meat mixture sandwich, or why you'd wrap a unit in foil after baking and freezing it. Still, all in all, this sounds more exciting than the energy bar I'll be having for supper in my car on the way to a class.