02/11/04’s illustrious band:

Tickles the Tapeworm

Brought to you by the creators of Parasite Pals.

Parasite Pals are sort of like Care Bears, except they’re parasites. The cast of characters in this merchandising drama includes Tickles the Tapeworm, Dig Dig the Head Louse, Blinky the Eyelash Mite, Zzeezz the Bed Bug, and of course Holly Hostess, the cute little blond girl from whom the others leech the necessities of life.

Click on the disembodied head of Holly Hostess to read the animated story of how Holly learned to stop worrying and love her parasites. Once introduced to them, she was never lonely again. The wording of Holly’s narrative leads me to believe that she was born and educated overseas, possibly in Japan.

If you visit www.parasitepals.com, which I highly recommend you do, you’ll see that somebody thought these characters up for the sole purpose of selling cheap plastic Pal-themed merchandise -- everything from stickers and pencil toppers to a Tickles tape measure and tape dispenser (he’s a tape worm, get it?) and a Dig Dig compact with comb.

You also owe it to yourself to click on “What’s New?” and watch Holly and Tickles in the colorful drama “Dig Dig Finds a Home.” For added entertainment, click on each Pal to view his or her centerfold-like description, then hover your cursor over the character for some special effects. Zzeezz, for instances, dreams of chomping a huge bite out of Holly’s flesh while she sleeps, belying the claim that he is laid back and makes Holly happy with dreaming.

Today around the world: February 11 is Anniversary of Lateranensi Pacts in the Vatican City State. In 1929, the Lateranensi Pacts introduced “concordatory” marriage to Italian civil law, according to “Grounds for Divorce and Maintenance Between Former Spouses,” published by legal scholars at the University of Rome in 2002. Concordatory marriage is a marriage celebrated by means of a religious rite according to the rules of Canon law (and as such is considered to be a sacramentum), but it also has civil effects because it is recorded in the register of acts of Italian marital status.

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