03/06/03’s illustrious band:

The Borg Scale of Perceived Exertion

Brought to you by the Borg. Exertion is futile!

OK, it’s not really the leather-and-rubber-wearing, all-subsuming Borg from Star Trek. The Borg Scale of Perceived Exertion is used in medicine and research to establish an indicator of how you feel when you exercise. On the Borg Scale, a good cardiovascular training zone would be 11-12: fairly light, and you should be able to talk normally without shortage of breath. (I don’t know why the scale begins at 6 instead of at 1; perhaps at 1, the subject is presumed to be asleep, or worse.)

• 6 = no exertion
  
• 7-8 = very, very light
  
• 9-10 = very light
  
• 11-12 = fairly light
  
• 13-14 = somewhat hard
  
• 15-16 = hard
  
• 17-18 = very hard
  
• 19-20 = very, very hard
  

It’s nice to have a handy measure for describing how hard you’re exercising. T’ai Chi Borgs at 8 or 9; I’d give brisk walking an 11, running a 14 and boxing a 17 or 18.

I’m interested in seeing the Borg Scale applied to other measures of exertion as well. For instance, if there were a Borg Attentiveness Scale, 6 would equal watching the latest episode of Sex in the City -- low effort required -- and 20 would be a high school civics class -- high effort required.

Dealing with your sweetie would be a 6 on the Borg Civility Scale, while dealing with your ex would be a 20. Dealing with my ex: 22.

Borg Happy Scale: Rush Hour, the movie starring Jackie Chan = 6; rush hour on a Friday afternoon during a blizzard when you have a full bladder = 20.

Borg Food Scale: hot fudge sundae = 6; brussels sprouts = 20.

Borg Celebrity Tolerance Scale: the late Mr. Rogers = 6; Carrot Top = 20.

And so on like that. How have you Borg today?

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