03/31/04’s illustrious band:

The TaX Files

Brought to you by three government agencies.

Sister-san and Chef Jeff moved to Arizona last summer. Now it’s tax season, and they found that they needed a Minnesota Part-Year Resident form to complete their filing. Sister-san asked me to pick one up and mail it to her. I said I would. I figured it would be simple:

1. Drive to post office.

   
   

2. Take desired form from bin.

   
   

3. Mail form.

   
   

4. Eat lunch.

   
   

Alas, it was not to be. We’re talking about three government bureaucracies plus a blonde with a cell phone here, so you know it’s not gonna be that easy. Here’s what I actually had to do:

1. Drive to post office.

   
   

2. Search bins for desired form. Fail to find it. Ask bystanders if they know where to look. Receive blank stares. (Polite blank stares; this is Minnesota, after all.)

   
   

3. Get in line to ask a postal employee.

   
   

4. Learn from postal employee that the post office only stocks the basic forms; for the exotic stuff, you need to go to the library. Get directions to nearest library. Purchase sheet of Year of the Monkey stamps.

   
   

5. Head for library as per directions.

   
   

6. After 10 minutes without seeing library, determine that directions to not gibe with actual location of library.

   
   

7. Pull into parking lot. Call Information on cell phone. Connect with library. Get directions from librarian.

   
   

8. Arrive at library 45 seconds later.

   
   

9. Search bins for desired form. Find it quickly.

   
   

10. Return to post office. Return to line. Mail form.

    
    

11. Eat lunch.

    
    

Moral of the story: You can get just about everything you need from your local library and/or librarian. Except monkey stamps.

I don’t mean to imply that this errand was an odious chore; it was not. It was a beautiful day to be driving around a small Midwestern town with the windows down and the radio on, and I still had time to drop my coat off at the cleaners before heading back to Media Headquarters. All missions accomplished.

Today around the world: March 31 is would-be Prez Al Gore’s birthday. Not quite a national holiday, but hey, throw the poor guy a bone, all right?

E-mail the Media Sensation: BandNameoftheDay@hotmail.com

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