08/26/03’s illustrious band:

Killer Chips

Brought to you by today’s outing of the Soup Group.

The Soup Group went to Subway for lunch today. I got chips with my sandwich and opted for some new BAKED! DORITOS brand NACHO CHEESIER flavored tortilla chips (I’m just quoting the packaging here). We were all shocked by the color when I dumped them out. They’re a shocking orange-red that doesn’t occur in nature.

Well, actually, it does. Further discussion reminded us that bright yellows, oranges and reds are reserved by Mother Nature for her more user-unfriendly creations: yellow jackets and wasps, coral snakes and copperheads, tarantulas and black widows, venomous centipedes, various poisonous fishes, some toxic plants and their berries, and professional wrestlers.

Yet we deliberately dye our food these colors, especially “fun” food. Why? Shouldn’t we have learned by now that bright orange means danger? Not me! I was drawn to the BAKED! DORITOS like a moth to flame. Twinkies? Maraschino cherries? Same problem. They may not be as bad for me in the short run as a set-to with a Gila monster, but in the long run . . . we’ll see.

Marketing gurus know all about this phenomenon, of course. Ever wonder why there are so many red and orange and combo-colored boxes and labels on the shelves? Why so many fast-food restaurants share similar color schemes? Research shows that those colors draw attention and stimulate the appetite; a customer leaning over a yellow counter is more likely to want fries with that than someone facing a blue counter. Same goes for red lingerie vs. green; red revs the viewer’s body up, green slows it down (just the opposite of traffic lights; wonder what that is?).

So there you have it. I have succumbed to marketing hype, and it has left its mark: I still have orange stains on my fingertips. The worst part of it is, even knowing all this, I’ll undoubtedly buy more killer chips like a good little consumer. They may be dangerous, but they’re tasty.

And none of this explains the popularity of Oreos, unless there are a lot more color-blind shoppers out there than I thought.

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