05/14/03’s illustrious band:

Misquote Spray

Brought to you by The Other Amy.

T.O. Amy received a note from a reader of her magazine who wrote with thanks for some sign-up gifts she had received. She got gardening tools and a tool bag, and a container of “misquote” spray to use against the “other state bird” in her area.

“What every journalist needs,” Amy writes, “misquote spray! Just spray it on your copy, and misquotes magically disappear.” (Another journalist friend of hers remarked that in addition to misquote spray, she also carries a tube of Preparation AP.)

Misquote spray would indeed be a dandy addition to any writer’s first aid kit. I think it should also contain:

• mental floss for clearing one’s mind
  
• Excesscedrin for eliminating unnecessary verbiage
  
• adhesive type to help you stick to the point
  
• curscriptive medication for attractive handwriting
  
• andages to hold clauses together
  
• Punctu-Bismol to prevent run-ons
  
• Hacktine ointment to ease the sting of abrasive reviews
  
• time-release capsules for squirming out of deadlines
  
• a solar-powered idea generator
  

What else do we need?

E-mail the Media Sensation: jugglernaut@hotmail.com

Visit the BND archives at http://jugglernaut.blogspot.com.