03/26/03’s illustrious band:

Paco Will Not Beg

Brought to you by one of the funniest birthday cards I’ve seen in a long time.

Last night several friends gathered to celebrate one guy’s birthday, and that’s where I saw this brilliant card. On the front is a Hispanic man in an aqua leotard with sequins forming a starburst design on the front. A circus trapeze dangles in the background. The man stares broodily into the distance over his brushy mustache. The front of the card reads,

"So, you will not go to Omaha with Paco?

Paco can teach you many things.

But Paco will not beg."

Inside, it says,

"Birthday or not, don't go with Paco."

For some reason this struck us all as terribly, terribly funny, and the lines were repeated ad nauseum for the rest of the evening. "Pass the fries. Paco will not beg!" It's the Omaha bit that does it for me. Paco isn't inviting you to some exotic locale, oh no. He's inviting you to Omaha.

Also entertaining was showing the card to our ultra-perky waitress as we invited her to enjoy a piece of the cake. She read it, mulled it over for a moment, and then chirped, "That's cute!"

Paco is not cute. But Paco can teach you many things.

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