Spuds & Duds

Brought to you by an anonymous source. Here's the story:

Ole and Sven are holidaying on the beach in Australia while on vacation, and Sven couldn't seem to make it with any of the girls. So he asks the local lifeguard for some advice.

"Mate, it's obvious," says the lifeguard. "You're wearing them old baggy Minnesota-style swimming trunks that make ya look like an old geezer. They're years outta style. Your best bet is to grab yourself a pair of Speedos — about two sizes too small — and drop a fist-sized potato down inside 'em. I'm tellin' ya, man, you'll have all the babes ya want!"

The following day, Sven hits the beach with his spanking new tight Speedos and his fist-sized potato. Everybody on the beach is disgusted as he walks by, covering their faces, turning away, laughing, looking sick!

So Ole goes back to the lifeguard again and asks him, "Vat's wrong now? Sven still isn't picking up babes."

"JAHEESUS!" says the lifeguard, "Mate. The potato goes in front!"

Oh, like you could do better?

Today around the world: May 20 is NASCAR Day in the U.S. Yee-ha!