09/30/04’s illustrious band:

Unguinous

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Unguinous (UNG-gwi-nuhs) adjective*

Greasy, oily.

[From Latin unguinosus, from unguin-, stem of unguen (ointment). Other words from the same root are ointment, anoint, unction, and unctuous.]

Unguinous. Now there’s a word that rolls right off the tongue. Or slipslideslithers, really. It shoots straight to the top of my list of least favorite words, where it joins moist, slacks, and davenport as words I’ll go out of my way to avoid saying.

*Unguinous is not to be confused with buttery, which is another thing altogether.

The Media Sensation’s top 25 people, places, and things that are unguinous:

1. car parts
   
2. cheap chocolate
   
3. cheap hand lotion
   
4. Cleveland, OH
   
5. diners
   
6. J.R. Ewing -- actually, the series Dallas as a whole
   
7. fish markets
   
8. Flint, MI
   
9. frat boys with kegs
   
10. X-Files bad guy Alex Krycek
    
11. lounge lizards
    
12. mayonaise
    
13. Ming the Merciless
    
14. noseprints on glass
    
15. not snakes, but they sure look like they ought to be
    
16. organic peanut butter
    
17. other people’s dogs
    
18. paper money, if you rub your fingers over it long enough
    
19. politicians
    
20. prop-department wigs
    
21. seats in theaters where the lights never quite come up all the way
    
22. sister-kissin’ hicks
    
23. Ed Sullivan’s hair
    
24. used car salesmen
    
25. the wind blowing in from the paper mill
    

What makes your list of unguinosity?

Today around the world: September 30 is Agriculture Day in Sao Tome and Principe, islands in the Gulf of Guinea, straddling the Equator west of Gabon.

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