12/08/03’s illustrious band:

Citizen Cane

Brought to you by the official beginning of Candy Cane Season, which I proclaim to be today.

Candy Cane Season not like Wabbit Season or Duck Season, wherein people in funny hats run around the countryside trying to shoot things. Rather, it’s that time of year when I, possibly wearing a funny hat, pursue incarnations of peppermint through the land. From Schwann’s seasonally available Peppermint Stick ice cream to Luna’s new Chocolate Peppermint Stick SPF 15 lip balm to the striped treasures themselves, no mint is safe. No peppermint, that is. Whoever thought flavoring candy canes with spearmint or, worse, wintergreen, ought to be ashamed of him- or herself.

I love peppermint. I intentionally keep my consumption of it (except in toothpaste form) to a minimum throughout the rest of the year to heighten the wintertime enjoyment. But a few weeks before Christmas, I throw caution to the wind and start crunching. Starlight mints and peppermint bark are terrific, of course, but I have a special fondness for candy canes. They make dandy decorations for the umbrella tree in my office (thanks, Garden Doctor Skeeter!), or for garlands, or for strands of lights.

And they’re the most fun to eat of all the candies. ‘Fess up, now: Doesn’t everybody enjoy slurping the red stripes off the white cane, sucking the end to a point and poking people with it? Don’t you try to see how thin and sharp you can make the end before it breaks off and stabs you in the tongue? Or how about the problem of when you’ve eaten the whole stem of the cane and are down to only the U-shaped curve, with half of it in your mouth and half dragging across your upper lip? Haven’t we all made the mistake of peeling the plastic wrapping back only part of the way, then getting our fingers hopelessly sticky as we try to tear the syrupy film the rest of the way off? Am I the only one who has suffered the lethal combination of sticky cane, high wind and long hair? Or sticky cane and friendly cat?

The scent of peppermint stimulates the senses, helping us stay awake when we’d like to hibernate. If you’ve spent too much time indulging in sausage-and-cheese hors d’oeuvres, lutefisk pate or eggnog, the humble candy cane steps in as a festive breath mint. Candy canes are crutches for getting through the long, dark days of December, and I, for one, intend to lean heavily on my stash. Starting today.

In addition to being the Candy Cane Season Opener, December 8 is also Bodhi Day. On Bodhi Day, a.k.a. Rohatsu, Buddhists celebrate the day in 596 B.C. when the Buddha achieved enlightenment. Judging by his fat belly, happy smile and perky attitude, Buddha was no stranger to the charms of the candy cane.

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