Monsoon Wedding Crashers

Brought to you by the movies.

Yesterday afternoon, I decided to beat the heat by seeing The Wedding Crashers at a local megamultiuberplex. It was a learning experience.

First of all, do not make the mistake, as I did, of assuming that movies screened before 7:00 p.m. are matinees. Maybe they used to be, but not any more, no ma'am. When the guy at the ticket counter charged me full price for a 5:00 movie, we got into a little debate about it. I lost. The theater has a new policy: anything after 4:00 is no longer a matinee, it's a full-price show. That means $8.50 b.p. (before popcorn). BOO!! HISS!!

This theater, which I formerly liked a little despite its megatrocity, has also begun force-feeding the captive audience TV commercials before the previews. (I realize that this has been going on for quite a while — since ET if you count the advent of product placement — but I've just gotten around to crabbing about it now. Sorry to keep you waiting.) I don't know about you, but I go to the movies to get away from TV. Movies are supposed to be different, and better, than TV, not simply larger and louder. Yes, I know Americans have a hard time with that concept. Deal.

New Media Sensation policy: even more Netflix, even fewer trips to the theater. I make better popcorn anyway. Try it with melted peanut butter.

[Aside: While I waited for my movie to start, I strayed into a nearby bookstore, where I found the latest Harry Potter hardcover on sale for 40% off. That meant I could have snagged it for $18. But I didn't. I've read enough reviews to guess what the Big Surprise is and tripped over a few spoilers that confirm my theory, so I'm in no hurry. Can't decide whether to buy the hardcover used in a month or two or just wait for the paperback. But I will get it eventually. I'm a little OCD about finishing a series once I've started.]

OK, where was I? Ah yes, The Wedding Crashers. It's a romantic comedy about John and Jeremy (Owen Wilson [insert heart symbol, twice] and Vince Vaughn [insert heart symbol & banjo sexy symbol]), who crash weddings to pick up chicks. Sounds corny, but somehow it works very well: they're looking for love at a celebration of love, but settling for mere lust until Cupid strolls by. It's a major hoot with plenty of sap-o-rama redemption at the end. I recommend it.

Wilson plays the same laconic hottie he always plays, although he takes a stab at grown-up seriousness toward the end. Hey, whatever gets him more screen time. Vaughn, as the beleaguered foil, completely steals the show. I will probably never tire of looking at Wilson, but I watch Vaughn. Unlike with most large actors, who make their size their trademark and hit "coast," you don't notice how big Vaughn is — 6'5" and beefy — until you see him in a scene alongside other people. You're too busy noticing how he's reacting, how he's feeling, how pouchy his eyes are and why that's just right. That's because he's acting. Hear that, Tom Cruise? Acting.

Vince was born in Minneapolis, by the way. I think that's a sign our paths are destined to cross.

Which brings me, naturally, to the weather.

When I emerged from the theater, I stepped out into a monsoon. Torrential rain, angry winds. I was soaked by the time I crossed the sidewalk, let alone the parking lot — but only on the front. Since I was walking into the wind, my back half stayed as dry as if I'd remained inside. No complaints. We needed the rain.

Leaving a wedding movie in a monsoon reminded me of a wedding movie with its own monsoon. Monsoon Wedding is an Indian film about an arranged marriage, a bride with a secret, wild & crazy relatives, and a subplot that will stay with you longer than the main story. The cinematography is gorgeous, the acting moving, and the music exuberant. The good guys win in the end, as in The Wedding Crashers, but you're rooting for them more strongly here. The director's comments on the DVD are enlightening rather than in-jokey. Again, two thumbs up.

As a contrast, I offer this review of Kicking and Screaming, which I saw Saturday: I went to the $2 theater and almost got my money's worth. It's a disappointing turn from Will Ferrell (who, incidently, appears briefly in The Wedding Crashers, too. And stars in Bewitched. Will's been busy this year.) Still banjo sexy by a slim margin.

Seen any good movies lately?

Today around the world: July 18 is Constitution Day in Uruguay.