12/15/03’s illustrious band:

Mystery Gifts

Brought to you by the closet in the spare bedroom at Sensational Acres.

A week or two ago, I went pawing through my closets in search of Christmas lights to drape over my hapless ficus. The lights were buried because, although this year marks my fourth Yuletide at Sensational Acres, it’s the first year I’ve bothered to decorate. I’m always away for this holiday, and I don’t like a lot of frou-frou trappings in my home, so I haven’t bothered to deck the halls in previous years.

This time, however, since I already had a tree in place, I decided to put something on it. In the process of digging out the lights and a few other items, I came across a box of miscellaneous junk left over from when I moved. There, amongst unopened cans of Silly String and some plastic harmonicas, were three wrapped Christmas gifts.

The recipients’ names clearly had come from the drawing of names on Mother Media’s side of the family; it was the givers’ names that gave me pause. My own appeared on one tag -- but my ex-husband’s appeared on the other two. That makes the gifts at least four years old, because 1999 was the last time he was considered part of the family.

So what’s in the packages? I have no idea. And why didn’t we send them before the turn of the century? That one’s easier to answer: sloth. I can’t blame the ex for that, either. Despite his name on the tags, it’s clear that I was the one who wrapped the packages. The tags are in my handwriting, for one thing. The lumpy corners and excessive use of tape are dead giveaways as well; gift wrapping is a skill I never quite mastered. I would have been in charge of the mailing, too, since (A) the recipients were my relatives, not his and (B) I was in charge of all the mailing, not just at Christmas time. So it’s my fault those presents are still present, unpresented.

That’s all changing this week, though. I was a busy little elf over the weekend and got all my wrapping done (thank goodness for gift bags!). Those dusty old parcels are now in boxes destined for the post office, which I will visit over tomorrow’s lunch hour. I’m curious to know what’s inside, since I’ve long since forgotten, so I hope the recipients will let me know. Perhaps this qualifies as one of the “sacred mysteries” of the season.

And speaking of the season of giving, here’s an easy way to make life a little easier for someone else. Campbell’s is donating a can of soup to the needy for every person that goes to the web site and votes for his or her favorite NFL team. Visit the link below; the button is right there on the front page. You won’t be asked for your name or other identifying information. It will only take a few seconds of your time to fill some empty tummies with warm soup this winter. Spread the word.

http://www.chunky.com/click_for_cans.asp

You don't have to love football to do this -- just click on a helmet. The purple one with the painted-on horns is always a nice choice.

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