07/31/03’s illustrious band:

Dark & Stormy

Brought to you by the Bulwer-Lytton Fiction Contest.

“It was a dark and stormy night; the rain fell in torrents -- except at occasional intervals, when it was checked by a violent gust of wind which swept up the streets (for it is in London that our scene lies), rattling along the housetops, and fiercely agitating the scanty flame of the lamps that struggled against the darkness.”

So reads the first line of the novel Paul Clifford, written by Edward George Bulwer-Lytton (1830). Its literary awfulness has inspired a yearly contest in which writers compete to see who can produce the worst opening sentence for a fictional book of their own. Visit www.bulwer-lytton.com to find this year’s results. All the winners are so . . . uh . . . outstanding that I can’t pick a favorite, although there’s a soft spot in my heart (and possibly in my head) for the Vile Pun division.

Think you can do better? You have my address. No fair submitting corporate memos or documents in legalese!

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