07/21/03’s illustrious band:

Warrior Weekend

Brought to you by a weekend’s worth of special seminars with Grandmaster Wai-Lun Choi.

Every so often, the T’ai Chi studio sponsors seminars with a visiting instructor. This weekend we were treated to several sessions with Master Choi, world-recognized lineageholder in Liu Ho Pa Fa (12 Animals kung fu) and expert in several other styles. It was like going to music camp and getting piano lessons from Mozart.

To say that my brain is full would be an understatement. Studying with Master Choi requires great both physical and mental stamina. Reason number one is that he’s Chinese and speaks English with an accent, so you really have to tune in to understand what he’s saying. I managed to glean maybe 40 to 50% of his meaning -- which was plenty.

Also, Master Choi knows just about everything there is to know about the systems he teaches. Forty-some years’ worth of theory, practice and scholarship are yours for the taking if you listen and pay attention. The only catch is, it all comes at once, so while you’re on Step 1: Where to Put Your Feet, Master Choi is on to Step 7: Now You Tie Him in a Knot Like a Boy Scout. “So simple!” he says with a grin. “Yougettheideanow?” Thank goodness the sessions were videotaped.

Yeah, the grin. Sifu (“Master”) is famous for what we call the Choi Chuckle: his tendency to smile or laugh while executing a self-defense technique. While health and meditation are good reasons to study martial arts, Master Choi’s true focus is on fighting. He delights in the practical applications of his art, and he’s very, very good at them. In 1971 he won the Southeast Asian Hand-to-Hand Martial Arts Tournament, earning the nickname Canon Fist. And when he opened his studio in Chicago’s Chinatown in 1972, he defeated 36 challengers in about half an hour to prove his credentials to the old-school crowd. To get that good, you have to think of fighting as your favorite thing in the world, Sifu says. Like chocolate. If he comes after you with that kid-in-a-candy-store smile, you know you’re about to become a snack.

So while you’re trying to grasp the basics of breathing and not getting killed, there’s a 64-year-old man trotting around the studio demonstrating, correcting and demonstrating some more. He’s the only person in the room who can sink down to tap the floor, then pop up for an overhead kick, not just once but several times, and the only one not panting after several rounds of the crouch-jump-crouch-jump Dragon exercise. Knees of steel! It was over 80 degrees in the studio all weekend, with humidity above 75%, but Master Choi perspired only a little and never stopped laughing.

So yeah, he wore me out, but in a good way. This may be the last time Master Choi comes to town, so I’m glad I got a chance to be his student for a few hours. I’m still a long way from mastering the secrets of whole-body haaaaamony, but after this weekend, I’m a tiny bit closer.

Editor's note: I saw a brief ad on TV for an upcoming series titled The Mullets, a sitcom (it had better be!) that apparently features a bunch of guys sporting the hairstyle Skeeter pointed out to us last week (www.mulletsgalore.com). Be very afraid!

E-mail the Media Sensation: jugglernaut@hotmail.com

Visit the BND archives at http://jugglernaut.blogspot.com.