07/10/03’s illustrious band:

Golleminem

Day 3 of CONvergence week is brought to you by sci-fi fandom’s very own rap star.

CONvergence is indeed a time/place of convergence -- in this case, the unlikely blending of Middle Earth with the equally fantastic world of contemporary hip-hop music. Both places are populated by funny-talking guys in funny-looking clothes, but that’s where the similarities usually end.

But then you find that rarest of creatures, a nerd with rhythm: Golleminem. He’s part Gollum, the wasted shadow-man from Lord of the Rings, and part Eminem, the wasted shadow-man of the white-boy rap scene (but without the obscenities). Glaze-eyed with desire for a certain magical ring, Golleminem rants his way from one side of the stage to the other, hitting the high points of a tale too complex to be covered in just a few verses. If you don’t know the story, he’s just a funny-looking guy with a so-so singing voice, but to insiders, he’s Elvis.

Golleminem was the best part of the CONvergence Masquerade, or costume contest, this year. Unfortunately, he was first on stage and gone within 5 minutes, and the rest of the show was downhill from there. I don’t mean to say that the costumes were bad; they were creative and well made and displayed by shy geeks attempting performance art. (Anybody out there remember Rainbow Brite?) But there were only about 15, and the best ones never made it to the stage. Due to the long rehearsal for the Masquerade, which takes a big chunk out of a con-going day, most people who dress up opt not to enter the competition.

So amongst the usual Klingons, Borg, Matrix sleeksters, bug-eyed aliens, Medieval royalty and Jedi knights roamed a pair of perfect Mario Brothers who looked like they’d just stepped off the video game screen and a guy dressed entirely in blinking lights. Fat fairies and gaunt Goths rubbed shoulders with Dr. Who and a pack of werewolves. And then there was me, of course, in my plain blue jeans and a Mr. Spock T-shirt.

Yep, the best parade is that of imaginative people just being themselves. But I did especially like the faded black shirt that read “Do not place in direct sunlight.”

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