Wouldn't Want to Paint It

Once upon a time in the mid-80s, I had a cassette titled I Have a Pony, an album by deadpan one-line comic Steven Wright. Genius, pure and simple. Wright was famous for muttering things like, “I bought some powdered water, but I didn’t know what to add.” And “My girlfriend got poison ivy on her brain. The only way she could scratch was by thinking about sandpaper.” And “It’s a small world, but I wouldn’t want to paint it.”

I played the hell out of that album in the car, in the house, and everywhere in between. Pretty much memorized it. Then, like all temporary passions, it faded from view.

Yesterday I found in the mail a package from Mother Media. It was I Have a Pony on CD. I laughed out loud, then listened to it on the way to T’ai Chi (and thanks to the lousy traffic, I made it through the entire 45-minute CD during my 15-mile journey). I soon found that in the 20 years since Pony’s release, I had forgotten almost none of the jokes. I may not repeat them on an irritating daily basis like I used to, but they’re still in there.

I cannot, of course, recite any of the poems and prayers I was made to memorize as a child, nor the mission statement of most of the companies I’ve worked for. Ask me the lyrics to certain Weird Al songs, however, and I’m all over it. Priorities.

Anyway, it is indeed a small world, painted or not. Here at the new job, I’ve met a woman who knows one of my T’ai Chi friends from elsewhere, and at T’ai Chi someone asked after one of my new colleagues whom he knew. I’ve also met someone who went to the same college I did and knew many of the same professors; we even share a favorite. And of course there’s that whole parallel life thing between me and the Kerner.

Which brings to mind one last Wrightism: “I like to reminsce with people I don’t know. Granted, it takes longer . . .” But I’ve tried it, and it is kind of fun.

Today around the world: November 18 is Mickey Mouse’s birthday in the U.S. Did you know you can sing the words to “Amazing Grace” to the Mickey Mouse Club theme song? Try it.