08/24/04’s illustrious band:

Wonder Buns

Brought to you by a super summery weekend.

Intrepid fellow Soup Groupers Senor Editor, Chicken Step Lady and I, along with CSL’s sister Vox Angelus, kicked off the weekend with a round of screaming and arm waving. Every August, Media HQ has an employee appreciation day whereupon the company pays for tickets for employees (and a guest, if you like) at the local amusement park, Valleyfair. The four of us met at the entrance last Friday and made a beeline for the roller coasters. I’ve managed to overcome my genetic aversion to roller coasters (ask Mother Media for details) and now enjoy them, for the most part.

Our first conquest was the distressingly rattly wooden coaster called the High Roller, where I screamed my hat off on the very first hill. Only a doofus would wear a baseball cap on a roller coaster . . . guilty. Anyway, we followed that one with the Corkscrew, the Mad Mouse, and Excalibur in quick succession (with a short break for bumper cars). The Mad Mouse was especially interesting, since it features a series of harmless-looking hairpin turns instead of hills and loops. Well, those hairpins seem mighty sharp when the G-forces are whipping you waaaaay out over the edge of the track! We were all giddy with shocked laughter by the end of that one.

Then it was time for the park’s showpiece coaster, the Wild Thing, which is known for having the longest low-gravity section of any coaster in the world. Hoo-yeah! Our anticipation had plenty of time to build during that 200-foot climb to the top -- and also during the extra-long wait in line, the result of a cleanup crew being dispatched after someone got sick on the ride. Once I learned the reason, I didn’t mind the delay.

The climb is always the scariest part of a roller coaster for me. You have plenty of time to look down, down, down and reflect upon what little you know of structural engineering and ask your seatmate to remind you why, again, you paid someone money to strap you into a train and send it over a cliff. Senor Editor and I expressed our terror by singing several choruses of that “M’na m’na (doot doo di doodoo)” song from the Muppet Show, with the final one sounding something like “m’na m’naaAAAAAAAAAH!” Good times, good times. I want everyone to know that except for that initial 200-foot drop, I had my hands in the air the whole way.

And then we went home to change our drawers.

Anyway. Nothing says “summer” like a charred Oscar Mayer wiener on a white Wonder bread hot dog bun, accented with Kraft American Cheese Singles and Heinz ketchup. That’s what I had for supper at a friend’s house later in the weekend, grilled out on the deck with bees buzzing above and the dog gnawing a buffalo knuckle bone below. Don’t cry for my arteries, though; free-range steak, tofu-tomato salad, and organic corn chips with homemade bean dip and homemade guacamole were also on the menu, with fresh organic strawberries for dessert. It pays to have a friend who’s a professional chef, yes it does.

With autumn weather already stopping by for a visit, I can’t think of a better way to start winding down a busy, buttery summer. It’s been grand, but it ain’t over yet.

Today around the world: August 24 is National Flag Day in Kazakhstan and Liberia.

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