06/01/04’s illustrious band:

Saw Buck

Geez, it seems like everybody wants to go to the Mall of America these days.

I arrived home one day last week to find my cat, Warren Peace, Defender of the Acres, arching and hissing through the chain-link fence at a dangerous intruder. (Sprite, a true scaredy cat, cowered against the back door.) Right there in my neighbor’s yard, in the shadow of the largest shopping mall in the country, stood a deer. The poor thing appeared to be about a year old; its fawn spots were gone, but the antler nubs were still pretty short. This young buck seemed to be quite alone.

Slightly spooked by my arrival in the yard, Buck backed off from the fence but did not bound away. I called for Mother Media to come outside quick, and bring the phone. She did, and we just stood there gaping at the creature for a minute.

I saw plenty of deer growing up on the Great Plains, but I’ve never, ever seen a deer in my current neighborhood before. While the yards in my ‘burb are pretty generous in size, it’s not a wildlifey area at all, rabbits notwithstanding. (And there are a few fewer standing these days, thanks to the mighty hunter mentioned above.) The nearest deer-friendly habitat I can think of would be the woodsy banks of the Minnesota River, but that’s a couple miles from Sensational Acres, down a steep hill, separated by many busy roadways. I really have no idea how this deer reached my yard.

Anyway, Buck soon disappeared around the corner of the neighbor’s house, breaking the spell. I dialed 911 and asked for Animal Control, hoping an urban deer wrangler of some kind could come and herd him back to safety. I was curtly informed that (A) Animal Control was no longer on duty, as it was after 5:00, and (B) there’s nothing they could do for or with a deer anyway. I was advised to just leave him alone to find his own way home, since too much human hubbub would probably spook him into injuring himself anyway.

So I hung up the phone and took a walk around the block. I didn’t see Buck again, nor encounter anyone else who had, so I don’t know where he ended up. I hope he found his way back to refuge of some kind. I think he’s better off shopping closer to home.

Today around the world: June 1 marks the Arrival of the Swiss at the Port-Noir in Switzerland. Switzerland, with four official languages, boasts a 99% literacy rate. Despite being landlocked, it maintains a merchant marine fleet of 29 vessels. The official CIA listing for Switzerland specifies 66 airports but only one 1 heliport. The chocolate is fantastic.

E-mail the Media Sensation: BandNameoftheDay@hotmail.com

Visit the BND archives at http://jugglernaut.blogspot.com.