05/11/04’s illustrious band:

Jack Asked

Brought to you by Mary Higgins Clark.

I’ve been listening to the audiobook version of Ms. Clark’s novel Fleeced in the car recently. It’s a highly abridged presentation of what was a very fluffy book to begin with. No time is wasted on minor details like characterization. Also, the two romantic leads, although unmarried to one another, share the common last name Riley. I’ve never known an author to name people that way before, but then again, I don’t get out much. Maybe it’s the latest trend in crime-lite.

The audiobook is read by the author, who should have stuck to her day job. Despite the fact that she’s reading her own words, her phrasing and intonation are clunky and sometimes confusing, as if she’s never encountered these sentences before. All of her characters, regardless of age, gender, and country of origin, sound the same, which means that the California girl sounds just like the young male British butler and the older male French film director. The only differentiated character voice in the reader’s repertoire appears to be Screeching Jersey Broad, and she uses that voice for both an upper-crust Manhattan socialite and a maid who really is from Jersey.

None of this stopped me from listening to the whole book, of course. I sat through all three cassettes, enjoying unintentional moments of humor. For instance, the author/reader has trouble enunciating both the K sound and the final D in “asked.” So every time the character Jack (one of the Rileys) inquires about something and the text reads, “Jack asked,” I’m treated to an earnest pronouncement of “jackass.” Since there’s no voice change to switch us over from character to narrator, it comes out sounding like, “Where are the diamonds, jackass?” Love that hardboiled detective dialogue!

Yes, the simple pleasures in life can be found in the most unexpected places.

I’ve found many pleasures over the last few days in the wishes, cards, and gifts I received for my birthday. From chicken tika masala with the Soup Group to cake with the editorial planning committee, from calls from friends to the Captain Kirk card and the new Tinker Toys on my desk, I’ve turned 35 just the way I wanted to. Thank you all!

Today around the world: May 11 is Sts. Cyrilus and Methodius Day in Bulgaria.

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