Today's illustrious band:

With a Scissors

Brought to you by a Pioneer Press Bulletin Board contributor called The M & M & M Mom of West St. Paul, who writes:

"I cut hair for a living. I had an adorable 4-year-old girl in my barber chair; her name is Sophie. I put the tape on her; I turned the chair to the mirror and said: 'How would you like your hair cut today?'
"She thought for a minute and said: 'With a scissors.' "

Short 'n sweet.