12/03/02’s illustrious band:

Cheese Curd Remorse

Brought to you by Scarlett O’Hara. Cheese curd remorse is what she felt after overindulging in deep-fat-fried dairy products at the state fair. Also known as a food hangover.

We have now formally entered the season of cheese curd remorse. With the Thanksgiving glut behind us and a month’s worth of holiday parties ahead, we talk of little except what we ate, what we’re going to eat, and how bad it all is for us. However, I’d like to propose a new theme for this year.

As an official representative of the Health Police, I’m urging people not to fret over food, weight and eating behavior. The HP public policy statement is this: Have fun! Enjoy sharing the bounties of the season with family and friends. And enjoy a brisk walk with them after dinner. If you maintain reasonable eating and exercise habits most of the time, it ain’t gonna kill ya to go off the wagon here and there. If you gain a pound or two, so what? Return to your regular routine in January. This is why we save new year’s resolutions until after the last of the gingerbread has been consumed. I’m not saying we should all binge and purge our way through the month of December, but we shouldn’t starve ourselves or feel guilty about that last cookie, either. Maintain a happy medium, that’s all. Chances are you can come up with something more important to worry about if you try.

If you can’t, here are a couple ideas to start with. If nothing else, these activities should keep us out of the buffet line for a few more minutes, eh? :-)

1. See that Salvation Army bell ringer? Take the $2.50 you were going to spend on a super grande turtle mocha latte and stuff it into the little red kettle. Then buy the bell ringer a cup of hot chocolate. Two good deeds at once!
   
2. Take a homeless person to lunch. Or take lunch to the homeless. Do it in person, donate to a food shelf, participate in a church charity dinner, or tear off one of those donation coupons at the grocery store checkout counter. Don’t know any homeless people? Visit The Homeless Guy online and make a donation via PayPal.
   
3. Donate a few toys to Toys for Tots or a church or community angel tree. Volunteer to help wrap the gifts. If there isn’t such a program in your area or workplace, see if you can start one.
   
4. Take a senior citizen holiday shopping, or take the list and run the errands yourself if the person doesn’t travel. You’re going out anyway, right?
   
5. Starting in January, put your quarters in a jar. Get your family or your carpool or your Sunday school class to do the same. Next December, do something good with the money.
   
6. Pay it forward. Yes, I stole this idea from the movie of the same name, but it’s a good one. If a stroke of good luck comes your way, don’t pay it back to the person who brought it to you (but do say thank you!); instead, pay it forward to the next three people you meet who need a hand, without asking for anything in return. Urge them to do the same. In the movie, people give each other cars and homes and new leases on life, but I’m thinking more along the lines of an extra pair of mittens. Well, don’t let me discourage you; start small and work your way up.
   
7. The corollary to the above is, if someone wants to do you a favor, let him. You know it feels good to help someone, so let someone feel good by helping you.
   

Good deeds: one size fits most.